DMV LineWe all have been to the DMV, or the equivalent of that in your state. It’s the place where you get your driver’s license and want to punch yourself in the face. If you don’t have that feeling then you are obviously 12 years old or don’t know how to drive. Either way, stay tuned because JAT is about to educate you.

1. Let’s get this out-of-the-way early. The lines… You stand in line with people who walked in optimistic, but were devastated shortly after. This phenomenon sucks the energy out of you faster than a litter of kittens staving for milk. If it isn’t bad enough that you have to wait in line for what may seem like eternity, you finally get to the end of said line only to realize you were just in a line to get into the actual line you need to be in. Don’t confuse this with the line to line operation that theme parks use when there are 500 people trying to get on the 12 person roller-coaster. When you get to the front of the line you are going to be more miserable than when you were in line. Which brings me to the second point.

DMV Line of Pain

2. Part of the requirements to work at a lovely state building like the DMV is to be rude. Now I know the workers have to be at a DMV 8 hours a day (which is about par for the course when it comes to the people waiting in line), and I am sure being there everyday must be as draining as…well something…I already used my draining analogy. They could be a little happier though. Then maybe when clowns come in to renew the plate on their clown mobile you won’t have them thrown out based on how loud they are or what they look like (talk about profiling).


3. This brings us to the driver’s license picture. The mother of all decisions. Should I smile, not smile, what should I do with my hair, do I wear my glasses? All these decisions are made by going to every mirror in the house and practicing. Unfortunately it will be all for not! They will take your picture without a count down and if it just so happens in that random instant that they snap your picture and it looks good; you without a doubt will have to take another because there was a tiny glare.

What have we learned? The DMV hates you. Let’s just thank our lucky stars we don’t have to go there very often.