Back to the FutureBack To The Future. 1985 Director Rob Zemeckis

Ol’ Marty McFly is the hip, guitar-playing, youngest kid in a family of average, shmucky joes. He’s in love with a missy he’s planning on taking camping (that’s pg for teenage sexy alone time), and friends with Doc, a wacky, much older, mad scientist type: lab coat, fuzzy, zany shocks of white hair, erratic extremity waving and thrusting etc. Sadly, all of Marty’s hopes keep getting smashed by the fists of fate. First, his band does not make the talent show and then Biff, his dad’s life long bully, smashes up the car Marty was going to use to take his lady camping. Blocker!!

Back to the Future Doc Brown and Marty Mcfly

Once back at home, we briefly get to meet the gooby kin, hear some pertinent information…how his parents met, when they kissed, the freak thunderstorm that night…veeery convenient, but we all know how much teenagers listen when their parents start rambling. We cut to later that night and Marty has been summoned by the Doc to meet at a mall with the Doc’s video camera because he forgot it…reminder he’s not only the mad scientist type, but also the absent-minded professor type, check. The Doc explains all the stuff to the camcorder (again, very convenient), then BAM! Terrorists!! And they are pissed!! They pop off the Doc and Marty bails in the DeLorean time machine…which Doc had conveniently set to the day he thought of the FLUX CAPASITOR (which kind of looks like a birth control device) which happened to be the exact same night his parents sealed their smoochy fate!! Again, such amazing convenience!!

Back to the Future Delorean

Oh, back to the chase. Marty hits 88mph, the magic number, right as he’s about to slam into a random parking lot kiosk, and wham, bam, back in time again! He hits the 50’s and has to hide his future car! Culture shock sets in when he’s at the diner, then double shock pays a visit when he sees goob ol’ dad (Crispin Glover in one of his most normal roles) getting emasculated by beefy Biff and his cronies. He follows his daddy-o and finds out he’s a perv…and just as quickly saves his dad’s keister, gets hit by the car meant to smack ol’ Pops, then gets hit on by his mom…while half undressed in her bed…Oh, Calvin and your tighty…purples.

He meets his grandparents and aunts and uncles, then flees to find Doc. At first the Doc doesn’t believe him, but then Marty tells him all the convenient things he had been told about up to this point as well as showing him the disappearing picture of he and his sibs. Together they try to avert interaction (not so well) until the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. But, as with movies, things happen…you know, like literally knocking his dad off his mom’s radar. So, he pals up to Pop and forces him to embarrass himself repeatedly in the hopes his mom, Loraine, picks up what he’s throwing down, but she already has a sailor (is that a life vest you got on there, MJF?) she’s scoping out. (By the by, in 1985, his outfit didn’t even create the bat of a single movie going eyelash ).

Pops Saves the Day

Marty ends up taking his mom to the dance with a scheme to have her and Pops Glover hook up as it was meant to be. Some discussion, molestation, racial slurs, and a super punch to the face later, the two are on the dance floor smoochin’ as sonny boy plays the strings of his destiny!

Now that that’s fixed, he’s off to play time traveling Frankenstein with the doc as he hooks up bits and pieces in the hopes of making them run right…into the future! But, as it tends to happen in comedies, there is super struggle in the way of one stinker of an electric cord and very, loud, confusion-inducing noises. Now, even with all the readily supplied information (please donate to save the clock tower!! Who knew a single quarter is what saves ol’ Marty from the past?!), it would still be nearly impossible to match everything up at the last second so…

Does Marty make it back to the future?! Has the future been altered due to his cosmic meddling? Will life be sweeter than imagined and his family be cool?? Is it possible?? You’re just going to have to make like a tree…and get out of here…to find out for yourself!

This movie has plenty to make those endorphins sing!: Libyan terrorist attacks, seeing the first skateboard ever invented!, a poopmobile, fun 50’sness!, Michael J Fox when he was all young and bouncy, the Honeymooners, the birth of Chuck Berry’s sound, a glimpse at how service used to be, the dick from Titanic as one of Biff’s crony tools (apparently, he’s very good at it), some impossible odds, Oedipus complex in reverse, amazing feats of coincidence!, a juiced up DeLorean, not great aging make up, life vests, and all around awesome 80’sness!

Marty McFly playing the guitar