Finally, the time of the year we have all been waiting for has come. It is officially football season. The NFL opened the season with the defending Super Bowl champs, the Seattle Seahawks dismantling the cheesiest of opponents, the Green Bay Packers. It should have been a better game, but JAT’s Chicago based roots were definitely happy to see Seattle’s D put the hurt on Arron “I Just Got Double Checked” Rodgers . Picking the Packers to win anything would be sacrilegious, and considered treason in Cook County.
With week one nearly in the books, there are still many questions left to be answered. Could this still be the year of the Bear? Has Sweet Baby Jesus heard Chicago’s prayers? He obviously heard the Bill’s considering the sad outcome of the Bear’s week one loss. Well according to Chinese zodiac, this is the year of the horse. But considering they don’t have a year of the bear, we are reminded the Chinese know nothing when it comes to good old American Football. Let’s just hope the Bears were too busy looking forward to next’s weeks show down with the 49ers on Sunday night. At least that is what we are hoping…
The Eagles gave survivor pool player a deathly scare! This is the reason why betting on the Eagles to win is the type of close your eyes and hope misery that only Donavan McNab understands. Even when playing the Jags you never should be a Eagles backer. Yes they did eventually win but Foles and Shady did not help anyone’s Fantasy cause.
The Steelers also had a possible upset from Johnny “On The Bench” Football and the Browns. This all was minimized when the video of Antonio Brown laying out Cleveland’s Punter, Spencer Lanning, with a boot to the head went viral. Spencer might as well be happy about it. He is going to be a household name now…
New England went down, but in our unpublished picks of the week, we had Miami. Just trust us. What do you have to lose….Mwahhhahahhhahahhh
And finally for tonight. You mean you are up by 20 points and think it’s over? Think again! They still have Megaton. There is a few things you should learn when playing fantasy football. Don’t bother with a kicker up your last pick, draft, PPR is way different from standard league, and possibly the best lesson of all: It ain’t over, until Monday night! #DaNaNa #DaNaNa!
Here are some other questions that every fan thinks about during the season:
Will the last-minute waiver wire pick-up pay off?
Are you allowed to drop kick the punter if he gets in your way?
Why doesn’t anyone take me to a game?
I didn’t wash my jersey, why did we lose?
Will Dan “The Philly Phreak” Bittle have any useful information to give us regarding fantasy next week?
Which of your friends will you punch first for being a Cowboy’s Fan?
What big injury will take your team from Super Bowl bound to “I just hope we get a good draft pick”?
Who will be caught using drugs or arrested for being an idiot next?
Where will you go to cry when your team blows the lead in the fourth quarter to get knocked out of the playoffs?
Will Johnny Football get to start this season, and should I pick him up and leave him on the bench?
Why do I do this to myself every year?