The Lost Boys 1987 – Director: Joel Schumacher

So, Sam and Michael’s momma gets a divorce and is forced to move she and her two sons to Santa Clara – Murder Capital of the World – to stay with the boy’s crazy, coot grandpa, a man who loves his root beer, TV guides, and taxidermy in equal measure.

After settling in, the boys hit the ‘have you seen this person?’ sign-covered boardwalk where, among other things, they enjoy a shirtless, oil-clad, saxophone man, a mystery girl with her non-gender specific mini rebel, and the Frog Brothers who push vamp comics on our ever so stylish baby bro Corey.  Mom also hit the boardwalk in search for a new job (not THAT hitting the boardwalk!  She’s classy!) and landed in video land with a devilishly charming, single man hot for her tater tots. Oh, wait, and there have been a few abductions.

Michael vrooms to catch up with Star, the mystery girl (What?  I mean she couldn’t  have a name like Debbie!) and her motorcycle mullet boys. They lead him to their secret lair and try to share din with him.

Michael Drinks‘How could a billion Chinese people be wrong?’ He succumbs to peer pressure (new kid just trying to be liked syndrome) and drinks…Michael!  If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you too?!?  Well, just maybe he would. And wham bam, he’s a vampire man.

The next morning Michael’s hung and feeling like crap. Unfortunately for him, his momma’s got a date with her boss, and grandpa is off for some widow Johnson action, and she’s asked drac to baby sit broCo (who is at least old enough to have a license…to drive, but that’s another movie). While chillin’ mostly in for the night, they get terrorized a bit, and baby bro takes a karaoke bath with wolf pup relaxin’ next to the tub. :BAM BAM BAM shouting, loud noises:  Big bro tries to chomp on soapy baby bro, but Nanuck of the bath saves his bestie by biting broseph.

A washed up broCo panics and calls the Froggie Bros for help. Other than suggesting he kill fang-grow bro, they are not much help. Michael starts floating and winds up totally cock blocking mom’s date.

More hassles, and we find out you need to kill the head vamp. They do field experiments on mom’s date, and stab vampy Bill S Preston, but Michael is still rocking the ‘I’m tired in the sun’ routine. The vamp pack saw who killed their baby bestie and are out for revenge…in two hours when the sun would be down. Then the fight would be on, and On it is! at grandpa’s place!

Will grandpa’s Texas Chainsaw abode help in the battle against the fashionably forward undead?  Will moviegoers realize the vamp pack may be the original sparkly vampires?  Will there be 40’s tipping for one of the Corey’s too soon passing?  You’ll just have to hang on until you get a chance to watch. I promise, this is one vamp movie that doesn’t suck.

Fun perks:

A movie plastered with amazing 80’s posters and decorations, the soundtrack, a young Kiefer Southerland, glitter vamps, taxidermied beaver, the board walk, mullets, both Corey’s alive, well and together, a cute, evil puppy, the clothing…oh yes! the clothing is phenom, and grandpa!