Round one of our Superhero March Madness is over and there were some huge upsets! Black Canary takes out Wonder Woman. Apparently, the bird must have got her when she left her lasso, sword, and bracelets on the invisible plane. It’s so hard to find that thing when you park it at the mall. Loki falls to Doc Ock. Another big surprise since since Loki isn’t hurt by “Conventional Injuries.” Let us not forget the sweet gem when Hulk throws him around like a rag doll. I don’t know how Doc Ock beat the Trickster God, but with all those arms I’m sure he runs a mean game of Thimblerig.
And in the what may be the biggest upset of them all, Magneto went down in his battle against Bane. Don’t get us wrong, we love the man that broke the Bat’s back, but Bane’s venom injecting machine has got to be made of metal so it seems odd that Magneto wouldn’t have just ripped that thing off instantly.
Some of the match-ups to look forward to in the second round are as followed:
In the DC Division we have Black Canary v. Green Lantern. Well Green Lantern can literally imagine anything and make it a weapon, but Black Canary can…ummmm…hmmmm…let’s see (searching internet for super powers). Ah here we go: ultrasonic scream; Motorcycling; Master acrobat/gymnast; talented singer; Skilled martial artist; weapons expert; peak physical condition. What the shit? Is this just Christina Aguilera as a comic book character?
Our Prediction: Well if you haven’t guessed it from our match-up preview, we are going to take Green Lantern by a mile!
In the Marvel Division we have Thor v. Hulk. We have God vs. Scientist (A scientist who had a gamma bomb accident that is). This will be the tough matchup; a real war. There have been plenty of times where Hulk has gotten the best of Thor, but it always seems like they each keep getting up for more. So what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Our Prediction: Normally we would say HULK SMASH and slam on the bar top, but this time we are going to give it to the God with the hammer. Thor wins, but in a close one.
The X-Men/Fantastic 4 Division has our Brains Vs. Brawn Battle. We have Professor X v. The Thing to finally answer the age-old question: are brains or muscles more important? Professor X is the leader, mentor and level 4 (maybe borderline 5) mutant. And The Thing is, well, a street fighter really. Yes, he is strong, fast, and apparently has enhanced lung capacity(???). We suppose that last one can be useful if he gets to the final four vs. Aquaman, but unfortunately the Professor is going to take this battle straight to the mind not the water. His game plan will be to find the rocky past of The Thing and exploit it.
Our Prediction: Our guess is the Professor won’t even need to stand up for this battle. We’re taking Wheels!
And finally the Villains Division – Doctor Doom v. Venom. Venom shocked us with his Round One defeat of Deathstroke. Apparently people love Deadpool, but not DC’s version. And Doctor Doom, which is just a great name, has the advantage. He is smarter than Venom, he has sweet armor, oh and he is a fricken technology genius! We are pretty sure he lent Steve Jobs the technology for the original iPhone. The guys a genius and he owns a country by the way. Venom is going to have his hands full.
Our Prediction: This one is our Upset Alert. We are taking Venom on this one! Yes, that’s right, Venom may be viewed by some as the “Super” Spiderman, but we like to think of him as the “Adult Version” of Spiderman. He rocks the black suit and has a tongue that would make Gene Simmons blush, and that’s exactly why we like him!